26 SEP
The assessments are finally OVER!! YES!! THANK GOD!! I have survived the sleepless nights and long hours of sheer torture and have emerged VICTORIOUS!! er... well, ok, not victorious. I have no clue as to what grades I have. The grades will only be out some time next month? Yeah... pooey. Oh wells, no news is sometimes good news right?? At least if I don't hear from them than it means that I haven't failed any modules. Although I have my suspicions...
ERGH! Am in a state of exhaustion right now. Brain has lost the capability to think - although I sometimes wonder whether I even had that capability in the first place- and I feel as though I could sleep FOREVER. Too bad I can't. I mean even though I said the assessments were over, I still have assignments for NIE to complete. SHIT. COMPLETE SHIT.
I have to hand in a 1500 word essay (which come to think of it is a pretty short word limit) on a 20th cent artist with reference to clement greenberg on thursday which is er... 2 days away. And I haven't even started doing research! Owing to the fact that I was busy completing my other works for NAFA. Bleh. But it shouldn't be too hard though, I pretty much like Greenberg's theories... he's a pretty decent guy, although pretty much an elitist if you think about it. Maybe it's coz he's jewish? Maybe he's got some pent up frustration in there. Anyways, the research should be interesting.
This probably means that I won't be able to actually meet up with any of you guys until some time next week. ERGH. This is so tiring!! hahah... oh well. On the bright side, I'm having fun doing it too. It's a happy exhaustion. Have you ever experienced it? You're so tired you just wanna scream your head off and yet at the end of the day when you tumble into bed not caring if you stink like tarzan, you ultimately have a smile on your face. Yeah.. that's somewhat how I'm feeling right now. Sure I have frustrations, mainly at some of my lecturers, but I feel good about the work I'm producing. It's been good overall. And hopefully it'll remain that way till I graduate.
Talking about NIE, I saw Von's sis there last week on thursday! SURPRISE! Hhahah.. it was a pleasant surprise though I didn't know what to say really. Hahaha... yeah. I was pretty much fumbling around trying to say something that didn't make me sound too juvenile...
Oh yeah... I just remembered. Assessments over.... and I'm supposed to get in touch with 'you know who'. But I just can't seem to get around to it. What do you think it means? Am I slightly anxious and worried about it? hmm.. more than anything I just feel as though I can't deal with any crap right now.. and I suspect that's what I'll get if I do. What do you think guys? Am I up for it? sigh... let's have girl's night out soon!!!! Hahah.... don't worry. I shall wait for you guys to get over the trauma of promos first. lol.
On to world news.... don't you find it FUNNY? A lot of people are making boo boos all over the place right now. Like there was our pope and some of our political leaders and others I shall not mention... But I basically boil it all down to them being bored. Yup! When you're bored, you tend to say things you either don't mean or say it to shock the world and to get some reaction out of them so that they start paying more attention to you. Insane I kow, but that's the only reason I can think of to explain this bout of insane idiocy. Or maybe they're just getting old and cranky. It happens I suppose. Menopause you think? Men can get that too you know. At least that's what I heard. My sources shall remain confidential.
Btw... shall I start a business? Lol... am thinking about it. hahha....
Hmmm.... am tired. Gosh. Need to go off and do some recording now... Taa! See you soon!
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
8:46 PM
17 SEP
It's three thirty in the morning and
I'm no longer wondering what I'm doing up awake at this time of the - morning. I have - since the first term's assessment - come to terms with the fact that sleep is a myth, an illusion. That a person like me does not deserve the luxury of this illustrious thing known as 'sleep'. Yes. It may seem strange to you normal people out there, but I've started refering to sleep as the 'thing'. Maybe because I feel so distanced from it. And when I actually DO experience this 'thing', it never leaves me feeling refreshed or renewed. I'm actually even MORE exhausted. Thus the conclusion is: 'thing' is a useless activity since it accomplishes none of its supposed traits. This is probably the third time this week that I'm working through the night and into the next day.
It's no freaking bloody wonder that my friend kindly mentioned the other day that I looked haggered. Thanks. I
so needed to hear that.
Well, on the bright side - yes, apparently I am still allowed to have good days - today was especially uplifting for me. I went out to LK with Joan, Von and Gen for drinks. We had lots of girly girl talk and I was able to resolve some "issues" which have been fermenting in my brain for the last few days. What would I do WITHOUT you?!!! Thanks you girls. I'm blessed to have friends like you. Yes... we had lots of fun... and it really took my mind of a lot of things. Assessments being one of them.
OMG! Hahaha... Vibrator... hahah actually, I have a QUESTION for you people out there:
CAN VIBRATORS ACTUALLY BE OVERWORKED??Hahaha... Gen was mentioning about this gal overworking her vibrato (or something like that...basically her vocal chords) and somehow, knowing me I just said the first thing that came to my mind and it was like vibrator overworked?? hahah... Cracks me up just thinking about it...
So begs the question, can vibrators spoil due to overusage?? And I'd like a real answer too... :)
Anyway, those who haven't talked to me lately, I think you should know that I have a stalker teacher... hahah. IF you see me, ask me about it and I'll tell all... hhaha I think this guy's just put in my life for general amusement. God must be feeling sorry for me... hahha.
God... this is a low point for me I think. Maybe because of the pressure, but I have been distant from God these last few weeks. I'm feeling it though and I'm thoroughly planning on going back to him. Don't worry. I haven't COMPLETELY forgotten him. I still know he's there. He's like my biggest rock. Always there when I need him. If only he were a guy. Then I'd totally date him. hahha. But if he
were a guy I'd probably be the last person he'd pick. =)
Hahah... not to mention I have a bet going on with my dad. $1000 if I can remain boyfriendless for the next 2 years. I'm already 1/4 way there. And as my dear friend says, "no guy is worth $1000" hahha.
Hmmm... in our conversation, joan talked about SM( couldn't they come up with a better abbreviation?? Lol... SM is SO NOT respectful! If you know what I mean *WINK*) LKY's remark about how there isn't actually a good opposition. And as I reflected upon it, the knee-jerk reaction to it was to say, "well you know making comments like that isn't damaging to the opposition, in fact it damages your own party's reputation as a good governing body. Because helooo, if you're so bloody brilliant than why the bloody hell is your nation so bloody uncapable and STUPID?! Who's fault is it that we have a poor opposition??!!"
Me and my friends had a good laugh about this one. And
of COURSE I don't mean it seriously and I'm sure it's not true. In the first place I know there are about a thousand illogical links in that statement and it wouldn't hold in an essay of any sort coz I don't have any evidence either, and secondly, I don't think that's how I really feel about this matter at all.
I will agree that the hot issue is the topic on FREEDOM. And many question if it really exists. But
my problem with this is the presumption that Freedom is actually something good. Something that every countryman needs. Something that we can't live without. Is it preferable to peace in the country? A roof over our heads? Food to eat? A steady job and income? Is Freedom something that should be higher up in the scheme on life? I personally don't think so. I mean Freedom CAN BE liberating, in speech, in actions, in almost everything, but then again, with Freedom there comes a whole other prison cell. One that cages you to other problems. They say that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. With Freedom, it can get that way too. The power of Freedom is not to be underestimated. IT may serve a whole lot of good. Or, it may corrupt the people completely. What good is freedom then?
Not that I do or do not believe that we have freedom here, it's just that theoratically, I stand by this belief that some things are worth more than my Freedom.
PS. Do you think the government will find this little snippet and have it out with me? Lol. I hope not. Coz that would certainly answer one of the questions here tonight.
PPS. Opps! Hahah.. after writing so much, I realised it's not SM Lee... hahha it's MM LEE..hahahha!!!! MAn... talk about sleep deprivation warping your mind.
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
3:34 AM
